Recently I checked in my advice box and found another request, “I really like this guy and we talked for a while in the 8th grade but I ended things. Now me and him are friends again and I really like him and I think he likes me but I can’t tell if he does. So what do I do? Do I tell him or do I leave it like it is and not risk the friendship?”
Dear “Hidden Feelings,”
Situations like this are hard, especially since you have history with him. Whether the relationship is romantic or completely platonic, it’s essential to clarify this so there is no confusion between the two of you. Sometimes friendships stay friendships for a reason, and it’s for the best, but other times friendships stay friendships because of fear. Either way, it’s very clear that you care about him, which is why this decision is so important. So you have a few options. First you have to decide your feelings: do you truly like him, are old feelings just coming up, or have y’all gotten so close that your friendship is blurring the lines for more, and you don’t know how to feel. Once you decide, then we can get into your options.
- Tell him: We know it’s scary to be so vulnerable with someone, especially if you’re unsure how they feel. But if every time you are with him all the “what ifs?” come to mind, then tell him — those feelings won’t just go away. If he likes you back, then you could be missing out on a great relationship.
- Don’t tell him: Friendships can sometimes become awkward after confessing feelings. So you need to decide if you value your friendship more than the possibility of a romantic relationship. If you value your friendship more than maybe it’s best you keep it that way. Or just wait — over time his feelings may become more obvious, and telling him could be easier; he may even tell you!
- Test the waters: If you’re nervous about his reaction or you want to see what he feels, test the waters a bit. Maybe some light flirting and see how he responds. You could even ask through a friend. Now you need to be careful, if you want to do this, ask through a trusted friend, one you know has your back, and she sees what they say to the friends, how they respond, and talks about you when you aren’t around.
At the end of the day no matter what you do, there is a risk. Some of the scariest things can be the best. But timing, trust and honesty is all that matters just as much as feelings.
No pressure, no names–just an honest buzz. If you need advice click here.
Until next time, Bee-atrice! … Bzzz
