Recently, I checked into my advice box and found another request, stating “So here is what happened. After school I found out my childhood dog had passed away recently. He was deaf, and very sick. And I knew it was gonna happen at some point but I didn’t think it would be so soon. I also lost another childhood dog over the summer. But the dog who recently passed away was my best friend and now I don’t know how to visit my grandparents house when he is not there. I need help with getting over grief because I don’t know how.” Here is my response. 

Dear “After the Goodbye”

Unfortunately, grief isn’t something to get over. From what I’ve seen and experienced it comes in ebbs and flows. Some days are easier than others. What we have are a few steps to get through the holidays ahead. I get that grief won’t make sense and that it won’t seem fair so this advice might not make sense today but it will as time passes.

1. Talk about it – it helps to talk to people who know who you lost. Talk about the fun memories, times that made you laugh. You’re not alone in feeling grief, people just deal with it differently and maybe they need you to speak up so they feel comfortable to say something. 
2. Take small steps – don’t force yourself to “get over it”, there is not a timeline. One day you just wake up and the sadness doesn’t feel so heavy. Then time will pass and the sadness might hit you like a brick wall. It’s ok. The important thing is that you give yourself the chance to keep moving forward, whatever that might look like. 
3.  Let joy in – don’t be afraid to find yourself being happy. Don’t be afraid to laugh. It might feel wrong and selfish, but it’s not. It’s proof that you are using grief to grow as a human. 
4. Honor what you miss – don’t erase your photos, don’t try to block the feelings. We all have those moments of wishing for 5 more minutes, but because we can’t have that experience it’s important to carry what we love about the one/s we lost as a part of us and honor them by experiencing all the things we know they would wish for us. 

No pressure, no names–just an honest buzz. If you need advice click here.

Until next time,
Bee-atrice! … Bzzz