Recently, I checked in my advice box and found another request, “How do I leave a toxic friend group when they always come up to talk to me when I try not to talk to them?”

Dear “Cutting Ties,”

Managing to avoid a toxic friend group can be challenging, especially if they continue approaching you. There are many routes you could take in this situation, depending on how direct you are willing to be.

• Avoiding: If you want to quietly create distance between you, try to limit interactions and prevent them as much as possible. Whenever you see them around school, try to walk away and sit separately in class. Don’t initiate any conversations or create situations where you will be forced into engaging with them. However, if you do get trapped in a conversation, do your best to avoid participating in any negative discussions and keep all of your responses brief. 

• Polite excuse: When anyone who is part of the friend group tries to engage you in a conversation, tell them that you have to go somewhere or can’t talk. This is a gentle way to get them to leave you alone and escape uncomfortable situations. 

• Blocking: Removing and blocking anyone from the friend group on social media would reduce the amount of contact you have and give you complete separation from them online. It would create distance without forcing you to directly confront anyone.

• Honesty: If you are willing to be more confrontational, telling them straight-up that you no longer want to be part of the group could be effective. They may be a bit hurt, and it could be uncomfortable in the moment, but it will reduce the stress the situation is causing you and ensure that you will be left alone. Just make sure to be as kind as possible and not escalate the situation, but also remember to be clear and firm.  Planning out what you’d like to say before hand could help you to feel more confident. 

• Reconciliation: If you think the situation could improve, try having a discussion to work out what’s been bothering you. Sometimes, people aren’t aware that their behavior negatively affects others. Sharing your thoughts might help, but not every friend group can be changed easily, so it’s okay to walk away if it’s not healthy for you to continue trying to fix things on your own. 

There are pros and cons to each of these methods, but you should do what you feel most comfortable with and which you think would work best for these specific people. 

No pressure, no names, just an honest buzz—If you need advice click here. 

Until next time, 

Bee-atrice! … Bzzz