Christmas mourning

Senior learns to live with loss

Abby Caviness, Staff Reporter|December 22, 2014

Abby Caviness

A photo of Abby with her brother and grandparents at Christmastime rests upon the mantle in her home.

All around me, children will play and adults will converse about the latest news while I sit and wonder what my grandpa might be doing if he were there.

My grandpa passed away nearly eight months ago. Up until this point, I have been coping with surprising ease. Now, the holidays have arrived and almost every day is a reminder I will no longer get to tease him about sleeping in too late on Christmas morning or open presents next to him in his designated rocking chair. Sure, I can still engage in the traditions of assembling 1000-piece puzzles on Christmas day and breaking my teeth on caramel popcorn, but those things have become almost painful memories.

It is not uncommon for people to struggle with the pain of losing loved ones around the holidays. The death of a loved one is an experience we all share and always fail to escape. Whether this person is a parent, sibling or distant relative, the heartbreak is all the same. Grief can easily dominate every thought, causing one to wonder what that person would be doing if he were there. However, no one wants to cry during Christmas.

Christmas should be a time of joy and happiness when people gather around with family and friends to celebrate life, and, for many, the life of Jesus Christ. However, when one of the most important family members is missing, it can be difficult to focus on what is really important: they LIVED. This Christmas, I do not want to focus on the life my grandpa lost, but on the life he lived. If there is anything I learned from him, it is that I can let this suffering get me down or I can choose to be happy.

This Christmas is going to be different. I can accept that fact, and I am even excited about going to my aunt and uncle’s house because it is a new way to celebrate.

I do not want to doubt my happiness because I am not “as sad as I should be.” My grandpa would want every member of his family to be joyful during this season. Embracing the future, and the changes that come with it, does not discount his memory but is a testament to the things he taught me.