The online newspaper of Canyon High School

The Eagle's Tale

The online newspaper of Canyon High School

The Eagle's Tale

The online newspaper of Canyon High School

The Eagle's Tale

What I learned from ‘Twilight’ …

  1. It’s perfectly okay for your boyfriend to emotionally and psychologically abuse you as long as he’s hot.
  2. If you are a woman, you must have a man to be your breadwinner. Also, children= success.
  3. It’s okay to use guys who like you for your own purposes when you have no real intention of dating them.
  4. Anti-feminism is cool. Equal rights are so 1920.
  5. Vampires aren’t bloodsucking monsters. They’re misunderstood, angst-filled immortals of immense beauty and power.
  6. Humanity is overrated. Who wouldn’t want to repeat high school five million time during their immortal life? 
  7. Stalking=love. Remember guys, girls love it when you watch them sleep without their consent. It’s not creepy or illegal at all. It’s flattering!
  8. No girl wants a guy who’s nice to her. Given the choice between a nice, caring guy and a brooding, emotional jerk, the girl will choose the jerk.
  9. Having ambitions besides hanging around your boyfriend and giving up your life for said boyfriend is not cool at all. What’s the point of going to college when your boyfriend’s pretty and rich?
  10. If you write a book full of purple prose, biological impossibilities, research failure, and general pointlessness, you will get a publishing contract and make millions.
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  • I

    I Hate TwilightDec 8, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    The sad part of this whole article is that it’s all true. Really, what was Meyer thinking while she wrote this? Twilight is a !@#% load of meaningless !@#$.

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  • T

    The Red ShadowNov 23, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    Ha! Ain’t that the truth. Really, though, who reads that stuff with distinction between fantasy and reality? Books like Twilight make that boundary that much less visible.

    Reply