From the time I was little, I had a warped vision of the girl in the mirror.  Makeup became a second skin, tears and dressing rooms went hand in hand and self-loathing was a drug in itself. I was addicted to hatred, and no matter how hard I tried to rid myself of negativity, I still relapsed every time I passed a mirror.

But there is no rehab for a girl fighting a battle with herself.

Every day, I found that there was something new to dislike about myself- my GPA wasn’t high enough, my nose was too big, I could stand to either grow a few inches or lose a little weight, and I could barely run a mile without contracting my death of side stitches. I felt like I was folding in on myself, just like failed test that had been haphazardly thrown on the ground on my room or the crumpled pair of size two jeans that I could barely fit into anymore. 

It was on a particularly awful day that I had a sort of epiphany. I was sulking around my house, brooding over how I was never good enough, when I realized, “Where is the emblematic line that says when I have truly made something of myself? Who do I need to meet and what do I need to do to finally be stamped, ‘Good enough?'”

I took a small step back from the mirror. And then another. And yet another. I kept moving away until the mirror in front of me, the eternal ruler of my life, the tyrannical spellbinder who had kept me in a trance for years, was far away from me. I took an oath- never again would I allow myself to hate myself.

The human race has a great ability to make anything of themselves, so long as they truly believe that they are capable of obtaining their goal. Humanity can rise from the ashes, create great civilizations and solve the universe’s greatest questions with the sheer power of our minds. Our minds, however, play not only as our greatest tool, but our strongest enemy as well. Doubt, fear and rejection haunt the minds of all who dare to think. When the mind is properly trained, though, it can quiet the nagging voice in the back of your mind that tells you that you cannot succeed and push you to greatness.

I decided on that day that I didn’t want to lead a life of self-pity. If I disliked something about myself, I was either going to put my mind to changing it, or I was going to learn to love the faults. Instead of focusing on what I hated, I would love all that I could. I would love my green eyes and my petite features. I would remind myself that my hips were not huge, my butt was just very enthusiastic and wanted to be as big of a part of my life as it could be. I was great at English, and although my trigonometry grade was less than stellar, old fashioned hard work could always lift an average a few points. I reminded myself on a daily basis that if my friends and family could love me, then I could love and cherish myself as well. To those who cared about me, I would never be a number.

Life itself isn’t determined by numbers, it’s determined by moments. Your self-worth is not determined by the numbers that surround you.  Your GPA does not dictate your character; a dress size does not measure the size of your heart. Your number of Facebook friends doesn’t show how friendly you are, and your Twitter follower count does little to show true leadership skills. Out of all of the numbers that surround you, the only numbers that matter are the number of times you make someone smile and the number of times you can truly say that you love who you are.

A person who loves themselves is far from arrogant. In fact, I would say that they are wise. They have learned strength, acceptance, and how to shrug off the small details that are crippling to some. Confidence isn’t a symptom of egotism, but instead a sign of a healthy and sound mind.

And just for the record, I don’t mind mirrors anymore. In fact, I look pretty dang good today, if I do say so myself.