I have never been much of a golfer. The only time I ever really gave attention to it was when a movie featuring Adam Sandler was made that involved golf. The one time I tried golf I did terribly. So needless to say, golf is not my thing and I don’t care for it nearly as much as I care about music and candy. But evidently, it’s not as high on Tiger Woods’ list as we all thought; it’s only secondary to sweet hanky panky.

The golf legend is caught in a multiple affair scandal, and I have to say, I don’t see how someone who has that much money and a smokin’ hot wife would even think about having an affair, much less more than 10 of them.

And what’s really weird is this guy has had it going for him his whole life. First off, he was born with a name like Tiger. That’s the coolest name I’ve ever heard next to Ghandi and Lance Culbert. Then on top of that, he’s got all these endorsements and money. The only thing left would be a hot wife, and he had exactly that. She was like the big rockin’ sprinkles on top of his cupcake, and he managed to get extra scoops? No one needs that many sprinkles; that’s why polygamy is outlawed. I always thought that football players were the ones who get the honeys, but now I know that golf is the way to go.

Most people would be satisfied with having even a fraction of his accomplishments, so it’s really hard for me to see how he can’t get satisfaction. If I was named something like Leopard Jungle and I got unlimited Powerade, I wouldn’t even have women on the brain. 

And it’s even worse how all of this is happening right around Christmas. While we’re all basking in love, the only stocking stuffer Tiger is going to get is a cold shoulder and multiple DNA tests for all of his upcoming prodigious children.

Anyway, I do feel a bit nervous for him. Because now that his wife knows, he won’t be the only one hitting balls. Go get em Tiger 😉