1885 vs. 1886.

Waco, Texas vs. Atlanta, Georgia.

Sweet and delicious vs. burps that are vicious.

Dr Pepper vs. Coca-Cola.

Dr Pepper is indisputably better than Coke.

With a name like Aryauna, I never got a keychain from a gift shop with my name on it, let alone a Coke bottle. Coke’s “Share a Coke Campaign” is impersonal and caters only to those with “average” and “normal” names (much like the keychains). Sure, I could get a custom 8 oz. bottle with my name on it for $5.00 if I wanted, or I could just buy a generic 3 liter bottle of the liquid carbonation that is Coca-Cola for $1.98 at Walmart.

Meanwhile, Dr Pepper just delivered my family the fourth free shirt we have earned in four months–this does not include the two we received last year. Dr Pepper rewards their fans with free t-shirts a few months each year. Simply texting pictures of receipts with a Dr Pepper purchase will grant a free t-shirt with free shipping. For the low cost of zero dollars and zero hassle, I have a purple Dr Pepper shirt and a Dr Pepper sloth shirt. My family has a 1950 vintage logo shirt, a galaxy cat logo shirt, a punk logo shirt and a shark logo shirt. We paid nothing but the cost of sustaining our Dr Pepper addiction over the summer.

I’ve never seen Coke provide free t-shirts to thousands of people for simply supporting their product. What they do provide is a sick feeling in my stomach. Every time I consume an ice-cold bottle of Coca-Cola, my stomach turns because it cannot house the amount of carbonation Coke contains without at least moderate discomfort. My insides have so much air within when I consume a Coke, I feel as though I could fly away.

Dr Pepper has provided me with nothing but happiness. Often times, the only thing to provide enough motivation to help me survive the school day has been a Dr Pepper at lunchtime. The first thing I want to do to celebrate an accomplishment is get a Dr Pepper from Sonic with my family. When I go to hang out with my friends, the first thing we do is grab some Dr Peppers. When I watch movies with my family, we each have a Dr Pepper can in hand. Speaking of movies, Dr Pepper accompanies popcorn much better than Coke does.

Despite what movie theaters with Coca-Cola partnerships would have you believe, Coke does not, I repeat, does not go well with popcorn at the movies. I don’t know about all of the general populace, but feeling as though I am going to fly out of my seat from all the carbonation in my gut during a movie is not a fun feeling. In addition, when eating popcorn at the same time as drinking Coke, the popcorn seems to crumble in my mouth because of the seemingly acidic bubbles from Coke. Bubbles are fun in baths, with little kids in backyards and in car washes–note that “in my mouth mutilating popcorn” is not one of those places.

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In contrast, Dr Pepper complements popcorn perfectly. The sweetness of the soda meshes with the buttery deliciousness only movie theater popcorn can provide. The drink is refreshing and provides a welcome relief from a dry mouth and the ever-lingering taste of over-buttered popcorn. However, Coke does have its advantages. Or shall I say, advantage.

One 20 oz bottle of Coca-Cola contains 240 calories. This calorie count reads 10 less than Dr Pepper. However, Dr Pepper’s 250 calories still include less sugar than Coke. The question is, how much are ten calories worth? Is trading happiness-in-a-bottle for ceaselessly-burping-up-bubbles really worth sparing just 10 calories?

This dispute can really be concluded with one question–which is better: sweet and delicious or burps that are vicious?