The golf legend is caught in a multiple affair scandal, and I have to say, I don’t see how someone who has that much money and a smokin’ hot wife would even think about having an affair, much less more than 10 of them.

And what’s really weird is this guy has had it going for him his whole life. First off, he was born with a name like Tiger. That’s the coolest name I’ve ever heard next to Ghandi and Lance Culbert. Then on top of that, he’s got all these endorsements and money. The only thing left would be a hot wife, and he had exactly that. She was like the big rockin’ sprinkles on top of his cupcake, and he managed to get extra scoops? No one needs that many sprinkles; that’s why polygamy is outlawed. I always thought that football players were the ones who get the honeys, but now I know that golf is the way to go.

Most people would be satisfied with having even a fraction of his accomplishments, so it’s really hard for me to see how he can’t get satisfaction. If I was named something like Leopard Jungle and I got unlimited Powerade, I wouldn’t even have women on the brain. 

And it’s even worse how all of this is happening right around Christmas. While we’re all basking in love, the only stocking stuffer Tiger is going to get is a cold shoulder and multiple DNA tests for all of his upcoming prodigious children.

Anyway, I do feel a bit nervous for him. Because now that his wife knows, he won’t be the only one hitting balls. Go get em Tiger

After accepting her trophy, Swift began giving her speech about how astonished and surprised she was (even though everyone already knew that she knew she was going to get it). As she began, Kanye West, of all people ,popped up on stage to say something other than rapping about how he’s got so much money and loose women all over him.

“Beyonce had the best video of all time!”  That was all he had to say on the matter and walked off. Swift stood there with the same look on her face that she would have had if she hadn’t won prom queen. It was like watching the Pope speak at a neo-Nazi rally.

My conclusion  is that Kanye decided to make a bold move to make Beyonce have the hots for him. I wish I was there to tell him that there are so many better ways to pick up women. Billy Mays, may he rest in peace, could probably pick up women with his loud rants, but not Kanye.

On top of that, Kanye was even wearing sunglasses when he gave the speech. I know it has nothing to do with what he said, but who wears sunglasses inside? It’s almost as if he were trying to say, “LoOk aT Me, my sUnGlaSSes DaT cOsT MoRE dAn yO cAr aND mY sUpeR mODel wIfE daT coSTs MoRE DaN Yo cRiB LOLZ.” But who knows, maybe Kanye is just upset that a country music singer won an award instead of someone with some of that bling-blang.

My solution to the whole problem would have been solved much simpler than Kanye’s. I would just have them mud wrestle right there on stage for the award. At least then the award can go to a true winner and not be based on something irrelevant like whose MySpace profile Kanye spends more time staring at late into the night.

For once I was happy that I could at least understand Kanye. If he had rapped about Beyonce instead it probably wouldn’t be understood by the general population. And he wouldn’t be rapping about her video either, when he has all of that junk in the trunk to get after.

Overall, the whole ordeal is sort of humorous to me. Swift gets her award and still has the ability to make women cry, and Kanye is seen for what he truly is and he can still make children cry. So at least everyone isn’t hidden behind a curtain anymore.